#humor

...and Lucy." She looked like she might cry. 'What about her?' "Lucy smells like food." She nearly gagged saying it. 'Sol, all that's normal. Lucy smelled good before I turned, and now she smells even better. But I haven't tried to eat her face and neither will you.' "She's not safe in this house." 'Safer than out there,' I argued, even though I agreed with her. 'Look, you used to eat hamburgers.' She blinked, confused. "So?" 'So, did you ever walk through one of the farms at a field party and suddenly try to eat a cow?' "Um, no." Her chuckle was watery but it was better than nothing. "And, ew." 'Exactly. You can crave blood and not eat your best friend. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#drake-chronicals #humor #lucy-hamilton #nicholas-drake #solange-drake

It's the Snickers bars. Snickers equal romance. ↗

— Lisa Scottoline

#romance #equality

I didn't think vampires had nervous twitches." His hand went up, almost touched it. He smiled, flashing fangs. "Some things don't change ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton from Anita Blake to Willie

#vampire #wistfulness #change

A truly English protest march would see us all chanting: 'What do we want? GRADUAL CHANGE! When do we want it? IN DUE COURSE! ↗

— Kate Fox

#change

... That's why you're going directly back to the house. The last thing we need is for you to end up in jail again, and I'm quite certain disassembling another lady's hair falls under the category of assault. ↗

— Jen Turano

#change

The northern star changes its position every ten thousand years, but friendships can last for all eternity. — RJPeters ↗

— R.J. Peters

#crime #fiction #horror #humor #murder

She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor #humor

My grandma came over yesterday, and I had just jumped out of the shower, so I answered the door in my towel. I know it was a little indecent, but I didn’t have time to dry off and change out of my wetsuit.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #shower #yesterday #change

There are times when I am so unlike myself that I might be taken for someone else of an entirely opposite character. ↗

— Jean-Jacques Rousseau

#flexibility #humorous #personal-development #personality #self

He heard Louis’ voice before he saw him. “Beautiful women?” he was saying. Then the door opened and the woman reappeared, holding the wooden lion between her arms. Oliver noticed that her hair was drawn across her face now. “Where are they? Have they come to see the -- Oliver!” “Hello, Louis,” Oliver said, giving the lion a small wave. Louis pointed a finger at him. “He’s no beautiful woman!” he said indignantly. Then he noticed Sophie and Julia and his whole attitude changed. He dropped his voice to a husky tone. “Why, hello there, ladies. ↗

— Zeinab Alayan

#attitude