#humor

I may not always walk the straight and narrow, but I sure in hell try to cross it as often as I can. ↗

— J. Golden Kimball

#religion #humor

Most advances in technology occur because they’re either trying to impress women or blow things up. It’s as predictable as the sunrise. ↗

— Elizabeth Hunter

#humor

Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#cowardice #humor #humor

The no-kiss rule starts when we’re home and I’ve found you a class,’ Sky said smugly. ‘Read the small print.’ Zed folded his arms and pushed back his empty plate. ‘She won’t last. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#love #romance #humor

If you wish women to love you, be original; I know a man who wore fur boots summer and winter, and women fell in love with him. ↗

— Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

#humor

Gorgeous,” he murmured. She chuckled. “Think you’l say that in five months or so? When I waddle like a duck and you have to tie my shoes for me?” “I’l say it then and forever. ↗

— Cherrie Lynn

#humor #unleashed #humor

Hattie.' Grace patted my arm. 'My cows sing better than you do. ↗

— Kirby Larson

#humor

America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top. ↗

— Charlie King

#humor

Normally writers do not talk much,because they are saving their conversations for the readers of their book- those invisible listeners with whom we wish to strike a sympathetic chord. ↗

— Ruskin Bond

#humor

Right, cause I'm bleeding all over the place for shits and giggles. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#humor #meghan-chase #humor