#humor

Charles stepped forward, looking outraged. 'Him?' he cried. 'But I clobbered him! You can't marry him, Ally. ↗

— Marissa Doyle

#charles #humor #leland-sisters #marissa-doyle #humor

Is that what you are calling it? A message? It felt more like emotional terrorism to me.-Zephyr ↗

— Amy Bartol

#humor

Belief sloshes around in the firmament like lumps of clay spiralling into a potter's wheel. That's how gods get created, for example. They clearly must be created by their own believers, because a brief resume of the lives of most gods suggests that their origins certainly couldn't be divine. They tend to do exactly the things people would do if only they could, especially when it comes to nymphs, golden showers, and the smiting of your enemies. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#religion #humor

That's good. And speaking of spelling, tell me -- do you wrap your head in a towel after you shower? ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#humor #romantic #humor

I hope to-morrow will be a fine day, Lane. It never is, sir. Lane, you're a perfect pessimist. I do my best to give satisfaction, sir. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#pessimism #humor

I hadn't known my dad could get so competitive over an auction. It was probably a good thing he hadn't yet discovered eBay. ↗

— Piper Banks

#humor

Huh? Oh you have a hidden agenda, do you?" She laughed. His straight-faced humor always surprised her. "You promised me you didn't." "There is nothing hidden about it," he replied. My objective is obvious. I've decided I'd rather have you describe me as 'sweet' than a 'slagging pain in the tailset.'" "Really?" "Well..." he looked up from the bag. "Maybe not in public." "I might be able to confine myself to saying it in private, if you gave me a reason." Taya met his eyes, and he blushed.

— Dru Pagliassotti

#flirting #nicknames #teasing #humor

Terence: As my old da used to tell me, 'never trust a rich man'. David: Good thing I'm only moderately rich. Terence: Which is why I only moderately distrust you. ↗

— Sabrina Jeffries

#romance #wealth #humor

Hello toes," I say. They're good toes. I like that they're long and slender and not the slightest bit stubby. I wiggle them, ten unstubby waves that say, "And hello to you, Human Host!" Except they're toes. I'm talking to my toes. Maybe I'm not bored... maybe I'm lonely? ↗

— Lauren Myracle

#humor

Yep, ouch. He and apologies didn’t get along. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#humor