#humor

Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #men #men

Last month she’d read that a man’s connective tissue aligned horizontally with the skin, whereas a female’s went perpendicular—which was why women got lumpy cellulite and men didn’t. And doesn’t that totally prove that God is male? ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#men-and-women #men

I'm a shreddermouf, aren't I?' 'I was afraid of that,' said Tansy. He was going to keep her in his larder until he was hungy again, and then he was going to rip her apart. 'Dis is my lair', said the shreddermouth proudly. 'It's de best lair in Tiratattle.' 'Is it?' said Tansy. 'Oh yes. It's a drainage tunnel. Goes right up to de surface, it does. Lots of storage space. My name's Gulp.' 'Tansy,' said Tansy, deciding not to ask him what he kept in his storage space and wondering whether introductions were quite the thing. ↗

— Elizabeth Kay

#hopeless-situation #humor #introductions #lair #men-eating-monster

[Out loud] Kitty: I object! [Telephathically] Scott: What? Emma: Bugger, was that acting? Colossus: Is not courtroom, Katya. Kitty: Shut up! I'm not good at having two conversations at once. And I hate Scott's plan! Scott: You mean you"object" to it. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#men

I learned another rule, men don't buy men flowers ↗

— Dora Okeyo

#love

He had a bright, reckless tenor that was always wandering off, looking for notes in the wrong places. ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#music #music

The Little Drummer Boy" was playing in the background for what seemed like the third time in a row. I fought off an urge to beat that Little Drummer Boy seneless with his own drumsticks. ↗

— Dana Reinhardt

#humor #music #music

If Patti Lupone was born to play Evita then Madonna was born to play Patti Lupone playing Evita. ↗

— Buck Bannister

#humor #musicals #theater #music

The piece you have written for us is called "The Gambol of the Caribou." Now, Mr. Steenwilly, I don't mean to be critical. What I know about music could be squeezed into a peanut shell, and there would still be room for the peanut. But I looked up "gambol" in the dictionary, and it means to "skip or jump about playfully." It also means to "caper or frolic." Caribou are large, ponderous, woolly reindeer. They do not gambol. They do not caper. They do not frolic. And they certainly do not skip. It would be an interesting sight to see a herd of caribou skipping down the tundra, but, Mr. Steenwilly, it would never happen. You could write a piece called "The Caribou Standing Still and Freezing Their Butts Off." Or "The March of the Caribou." Or even "The Stampede of the Caribou." But "The Gambol of the Caribou" is not such a great image to build a piece of music around. ↗

— David Klass

#humor

I like the smell of my Grandma's soap - I used to sit in the bath and eat it. ↗

— Carl Barât

#humor #music #musician #music