#humor

To be clever in the afternoon argues that one is dining nowhere in the evening. ↗

— Saki

#edwardian #humor #humor

I think of rounds of editing as hammer time. Then, when they interrupt my writing, I can say... *shakes head* Nah, I just can't do it. Although when I come across a brilliant line, I do think, Can't touch this. And when I'm worried I'm overwriting a scene, I think, Hammer, don't hurt 'em. ↗

— Brent Weeks

#writing #humor

There's a fine mascara line between genius and insanity ↗

— Josh Stern

#humor

Though I have had no adventures, I feel capable of them. ↗

— Anna Katharine Green

#humor #humor

It is more or less a given that nothing is less favorable to clairvoyance than the bright sun: physical light and mental light coexist on very poor terms. ↗

— André Breton

#sun #humor

I think Bob appreciated my outfit. He made me buy the more expensive pendant. You might think that was to my disadvantage, but I accept that status comes with a price.” “Not usually so immediately.” I shake my head. “You better not be hitting on federal agent ladies. They’ll arrest you.” His grin widens. “I like handcuffs.” I groan. “There is something seriously wrong with you.” “Nothing that a night being worked over by a hot representative of justice couldn’t fix. ↗

— Holly Black

#humor

I'm gonna throw Linda out the window. ↗

— Saved by the Bell

#humor

As someone who grew up in the Bronx, I certainly learned my share of four-letter words, but none are more powerful than nice. ↗

— Linda Kaplan Thaler

#inspirational #self-improvement #humor

If two negatives make a positive, then why don't two wrongs make a right? ↗

— Savannah MEE

#humor

Seriously, Jack, I think you might be the only guy in this city who hasn’t read his stuff. Collin McCann is like the Carrie Bradshaw of Chicago men.” “You mean Terry Bradshaw,” Jack corrected. “No, Carrie,” Wilkins repeated. “You know, Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and the City.” A silence fell over the room as Collin and Jack stared at Wilkins, seriously fearing for the fate of men. ↗

— Julie James

#fbi #funny #humor #julie-james #men