#humor

Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch? ↗

— Jeff Lindsay

#lunch #perspective #priorities #humor

Obsessing over a boy makes the time fly. ↗

— Alecia Whitaker

#humor #romance #humor

In the dictionary under redundant it says see redundant. ↗

— Robin Williams

#humor

Don't need a degree in rocket science to do this job. ↗

— Alexander Gordon Smith

#humor

If I gave my mother a knitted scarf she'd be worried I was wasting my time doing stupid stuff like knitting instead of school work. Presenting a homemade knitted object to my parents was actually like handing them a detailed backlog of my idleness. ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#humor

I did get so wigged out that I sneaked out to his house a couple times in the middle of the night to watch over him while he slept, just in case, I don't know, his comic book collection decided to spontaneously combust. This was dumb and admittedly creepy in an Edward Cullen kind of way, but it was the only thing I could think to do. ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#clara-gardner #humor #tucker #tucker-avery #humor

Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes. ↗

— Amy Neftzger

#humourous #pizza #humor

Men don't ask other men if they're getting home OK, they just assume that beneath the frail, weak exterior lurks a muscle-building kung fu master fearless of ever being mugged. ↗

— Kate Griffin

#kate-griffin #men #the-midnight-mayor #humor

You’ve always been nuts. That’s fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you’ve been depressed nuts. I can’t deal with that. - Anthony ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#humor

Yes, yes, mistress, I shall go and accomplish your task. Only—I was not only sent to kill the Leucrotta. There is a maiden in a tower—" At this the Witch spat, again rolling her marvelous eyes. "Those revolting creatures are always getting themselves locked up. If only they would stay that way. ↗

— Catherynne M. Valente

#maidens #towers #witches #humor