#humor

I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor

Which meant his only assets were one whiny imprisoned goddess, one sort-of-girlfriend with a dagger, and Leo, who apparently thought he could defeat the armies of darkness with breath mints. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#jason-grace #humor

This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here. ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#witty #humor

Like I'm going to pass up an opportunity to smack your cousin. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#tod #humor

Alexia figured, delightedly, that this meant he did, in fact, tend to traipse around his private apartments in the altogether. Marriage was becoming more and more of an attractive prospect. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#marriage #nudity #soulless #humor

Curran struck at my wrist. His fingers were cat-quick, but I had spent my life honing my reflexes, and he missed. “Well, look at that.” I studied my free wrist. “Denied. Good-bye ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

You'll start talking, and pretty soon we'll all start nodding, and then the next thing you know, I'm hang gliding off the Eiffel Tower at night, being chased by ninja vampires ↗

— Kathy Reichs

#humor

I can't get it out," she said. "Just pull at it." "It hurts. It's throbbing." "Pull harder." "I can't! It's truly stuck. I need something to make it slippery. Do you have some sort of lubricant nearby?" "No." "Not anything?" "Much as it may surprise you, we've never needed lubricant in the library before now. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#kleypas #lillian #humor

Maybe I should call Aaya!(Shigure) If you call him...(Yuki) I'll make you eat that phone.(Kyou) -Shigure-san,Yuki-san, Kyou-kun Shoma ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#basket #eat #fruits #humor #kyou

Yes! I'm me! I am careful and logical and I look up things I don't understand! When I hear people use the wrong words, I get edgy! I am good with cheese. I read books fast! I think! And I always have a piece of string! That's the kind of person I am! ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#nerdy #self-awareness #humor