#humor

If you fall in love with a character, then you are actually falling in love with the author that wrote the character. Therefore, you could conclude that if you are said author, you are in love with yourself. ↗

— Heather Dowell

#humorous-quotations #in-love #love

The blood of heaven binds you," said the Queen.'Blood calls to blood, under the skin. But love and blood are not the same." "Riddles," Clary said angrily. "Do you even mean anything when you talk like that? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary #fray #humor #jace #love

to judge professional be professional ↗

— ganeshsaidheeraj

#humor #love #science #love

And, drunk with my own madness, I shouted at him furiously, "Make life beautiful! Make life beautiful! ↗

— Charles Baudelaire

#humor #insane #philosophy #poetry #beauty

I know, I know. I was there, remember?" I love my husband, but he's such an Aquarian. Ask him the time, and he'll tell you how to make the watch. ↗

— Susan McCorkindale

#husband #love

Sometimes someones absence is better than his/here presence, it is a way to know his value in presence. ↗

— Aamer Bashir

#love #love

For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient. ↗

— Elizabeth Inchbald

#humorous #lying #art

He isn't stupid, but his interests are so narrow I doubt I could slip a sheet of paper in between them ↗

— Mercedes Lackey

#beauty

The chef turned back to the housekeeper. “Why is there doubt about the relations between Monsieur and Madame Rutledge?” The sheets,” she said succinctly. Jake nearly choked on his pastry. “You have the housemaids spying on them?” he asked around a mouthful of custard and cream. Not at all,” the housekeeper said defensively. “It’s only that we have vigilant maids who tell me everything. And even if they didn’t, one hardly needs great powers of observation to see that they do not behave like a married couple.” The chef looked deeply concerned. “You think there’s a problem with his carrot?” Watercress, carrot—is everything food to you?” Jake demanded. The chef shrugged. “Oui.” Well,” Jake said testily, “there is a string of Rutledge’s past mistresses who would undoubtedly testify there is nothing wrong with his carrot.” Alors, he is a virile man . . . she is a beautiful woman . . . why are they not making salad together? ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#marriage #vegetables #beauty

Annabelle, what happened to you?” Lillian asked the next morning. “You look dreadful. Why aren’t you wearing your riding habit? I thought you were going to try out the jumping course this morning. And why did you disappear so suddenly last night? It’s not like you to simply vanish without saying—” “I didn’t have a choice in the matter,” Annabelle said testily, folding her fingers around the delicate bowl of a porcelain teacup. Looking pale and exhausted, her blue eyes ringed with dark shadows, she swallowed a mouthful of heavily sweetened tea before continuing. “It was that blasted perfume of yours—as soon as he caught one whiff of it, he went berserk.” Shocked, Lillian tried to take in the information, her stomach plummeting. “It… it had an effect on Westcliff, then?” she managed to ask. “Good Lord, not Lord Westcliff.” Annabelle rubbed her weary eyes. “He couldn’t have cared less what I smelled like. It was my husband who went completely mad. After he caught the scent of that stuff, he dragged me up to our room and…well, suffice it to say, Mr. Hunt kept me awake all night.All night ,” she repeated in sullen emphasis, and drank deeply of the tea. “Doing what?” Daisy asked blankly. Lillian, who was feeling a rush of relief that Lord Westcliff had not been attracted to Annabelle while she was wearing the perfume, gave her younger sister a derisive glance. “What do you think they were doing? Playing a few hands of Find-the-Lady? ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#marriage #perfume #humor