#humor

Blake took a small roll from the tray on the table, then put it back in favor of a larger one. And maybe a little butter. It certainly couldn't hurt. And jam...no, he drew the line at jam. She was a spy, after all. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#julia-quinn #romance #humor

I'm an American, our names don't mean shit. ↗

— Quentin Tarantino

#humorous-quotations #humor

Laziness is the first step towards efficiency. ↗

— Patrick Bennett

#laziness #humor

Peaseblossom-decorous, proper Peaseblossom-dropped her trousers to waggle her naked, pale bottom at the Stage Manager. Bertie laughed involuntarily, choked on her coffee, and nearly died as it came out her nose, but it was worth the searing pain in her nostrils to see the look on the Stage Manager's face. ↗

— Lisa Mantchev

#fairies #humor #humor

Don’t call me babe. I’m not a floozy. Or a freaking talking pig. ↗

— Katee Robert

#romance #humor

What has three heads, six arms, and half a brain?" Three asked. One and Two answered in unison. "Nate Sutter. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#humor

Hey!" I turned, crossing my arms and glaring. "I was talking to him!" Tybalt eyed me with amusement, which just made me glare harder. "No, you were inciting him to stab you with a toothpick. Again, the difference is small, but I think it matters. ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#humor #san-francisco #humor

No hard feelings about that time in the Crucible when you mixed my salts and I was nearly blind for a day. No. No, really, drink up! ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#fantasy #humor #revenge #simmon #humor

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. ↗

— Charles Addams

#life #morticia-addams #humor

It was Lorraine in her nightie and Mo in his cap. They'd just settled their brains for a long winter's nap in front of the television. When out in the lot there arose such a clatter, they sprang from their recliners to see what was the matter. Away to the window they flew like a flash, tore open the blinds and threw up the sash. And what to their wondering eyes should appear, but Stephanie Plum and yet another of her cars burning front to rear. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor