#humor

And make no mistake, my friend, your pointless life will end; but before you go, can you look at the truth? ↗

— Morrissey

#life #lyrics #music #humor

For someone who'e smarter than a supercomputer, sometimes you're a real idiot. ↗

— Gordon Korman

#science #humor

Rule of life. If you bother to ask someone’s advice, then bother to listen to it. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor #life #humor

I never know," Harry called to Hagrid over the noise of the cart, "what's the difference between a stalagmite and a stalactite?" "Stalagmite's got an 'm' in it," said Hagrid. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

Why did he have to be so gorgeous? Why did he have to stand so close, and why did I still love him so much? ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#love #vampire #humor

Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine’s pink with rhinestones. ↗

— Kiersten White

#humor #humor

Maybe you'll win when hell freezes over." He raised an eyebrow. "That could be easily arranged. ↗

— Aimee Carter

#humor

Popularity's a weird thing. You can't really define it, and it's not cool to talk about, but you know it when you see it. Like a lazy eye, or porn. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#humor

Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed. "Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs." "Really?" "Oh, yes." She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?" "They just are." "In what way?" "In a magicky way." She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?" "Not really. ↗

— Derek Landy

#derek-landy #funny #humor #magic #skulduggery-pleasant

When someone tells you somebody’s been murdered, laughing is probably not the best response. You know, for future reference. But laughing is exactly what I did. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor