#humor

Anyone that looked like that wouldn't need to tie up girls and imprison them in order to get them to marry him ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #young-adult #humor

... you just turned down the woman who put a marshmallow duck in your hot chocolate. I hope you feel like a real asshole now. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#love #humor

The girl leaned forward and kissed Thomas on the cheek. “You’re sweet. I really hope we don’t end up killing you, at least. ↗

— James Dashner

#humor #scorch-trials #humor

All right,” she said a little sarcastically. “I was going to assume you liked eating babies and sacrificing virgins, but I might as well ask, what do you do for fun?” “I languish in sin,” I replied in the same tone. “I take my babies rare, and my virgins over easy. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#dark #humor #michael #sarcasm #humor

We were lining up and counting off nice and easy till you came stumbling through like a doped-up bull,' Minho responded. ↗

— James Dashner

#minho #scorch-trials #humor

Notice how Harry Styles smile is like the Cheshire Cat? And how he is from Cheshire and loves cats... ↗

— Natalie Stenger

#humor #onedirection #humor

... Paris was a city of love for unimaginative folks. ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#love #paris #humor

I'm going to stay here and see if he comes back," Wrath said as the double doors opened and V strode in. "I want the rest of you out searching for him in the city, but before you go, first let's get an update from our very own Katie Couric." He nodded at Vishous. "Katie?" V's glare was the ocular version of a fully extended middle finger ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #wrath #humor

Forceful little thing, aren’t you?” “You have no idea. So we doing this or not?” Those lush lips twitched. “Let me get this straight. We’re going to the bathroom, and I’m going to fuck you, and you don’t even care to know my name?” “I’d actually prefer it if you’d keep your stupid mouth closed.” Oops. Her hatred was slipping out. “Well, well. You might just be my soul mate. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#first-meetings #galen #hatesex #humor #legion

I don’t think you’re supposed to be able to get at that information,” said Leslie. “Don’t look,” said Goldstein, peering over Charles’s shoulder. “We don’t know anything about illegal hacking.” He whistled cheerily. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#charles-cornick #fair-game #goldstein #hacking #humor