#humor

When faced with something I fear, I tend to eat spaghetti. ↗

— Mark Helprin

#humor #spaghetti #humor

Teresa stood up, surprising Thomas with her confidence. “Guess he forgot to tell the little part about me kicking him in the groin and climbing out the window.” Thomas almost laughed as Newt turned to an older boy standing nearby, whose face had turned bright red. “Congrats, Jeff,” Newt said. “You’re officially the first guy here to get your butt beat by a girl. ↗

— James Dashner

#maze-runner #teresa #humor

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream. ↗

— George W. Bush

#dreams

Men are not potatoes! ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#science #humor

Screw the rules, I have money! ↗

— Martin Billany a.k.a. Little Kuriboh

#humor

Not interested in love or money. Interested in french fries. ↗

— Lauren Leto

#humor

You want him praising the Lord in the morning, you put a smile on his face tonight. ↗

— Mark Gungor

#relationships #humor

The past is every second of your life up until now. Up until NOW. See how quickly the present is gobbled up by the past? The present is... Sorry, it's already gone. Hmm, it was just there a minute ago. ↗

— Evan Kuhlman

#humor #humor

When I was a kid we played cowboys and Indians, and I always wanted to be an Indian when I grew up. ↗

— Ville Valo

#cowboys-and-indians #games #grow #humor #pursue

Zombies are so passe ↗

— Jonathan L. Howard

#humor