#humor

...first thing is that I love you. And the second thing is that as much as I honor your former profession, I don’t think your geese care much for your betrothed and I hope they hadn’t any plans on sharing our bed. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #romance #young-adult #humor

In Life, you need to know the difference between what you think is right and what you know is right. ↗

— Rea Erika Paraz Ebate

#humor #life #wisdom #wise-sayings #humor

If you've ever tried ba travel, I wouldn't recommend it-- unless of course you fancy turning into a phantom chicken and rafting uncontrollably through the currents of the Duat. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #phantom-chicken #humor

Saturday morning was their unrestricted television time, and they usually took advantage of it to watch a series of cartoon shows that would certainly have been impossible before the discovery of LSD. ↗

— Jeff Lindsay

#humor #lsd #television #humor

Stupid is a condition. Ignorance is a choice. ↗

— Wiley Miller

#humor

I don’t believe it! You’re still interested in the girl, despite the fact that she might be some kind of alien. Does this sickness of yours have any bounds? ↗

— Tom Upton

#young-adult #humor

They were really getting quite fond of their strange pet and hoped that Aslan would allow them to keep it. The cleverer ones were quite sure by now that at least some of the noises which came out of his mouth had a meaning. They christened him Brandy because he made that noise so often. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#humor

Just be careful, hon,” Rosanna said. “Oh, are the plates hot?” I flinched back just before my hands made contact. Rosanna laughed. “No, but hot boys can burn you just as easily. ↗

— C.J. Duggan

#humor #romance #summer #young-adult #humor

They tried boiling books, but that didn't work very well." "I'm surprised they haven't tried boiling one another." "Oh, it's been tried," Galladon said. "Fortunately. something happens to us during the Shaod—apparently the flesh of a dead man doesn't taste too good. Kolo? In fact, it's so violently bitter that no one can keep it down." "It's nice to see that cannibalism has been so logically ruled out as an option," Raoden said dryly ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

Nothing builds confidence like live ammo. ↗

— Tim Dorsey

#firearms #humor #humor