#humor

Reg: Furth's in London. And yes, I know, it's my fault. But as long as I'ver roused the lion, I was going to ask you to speak to him on my behalf. Alex: You wish me to speak to Furth. Reg: Well, yes. He's always like you. Just tell him what a noble, upright fellow I am, and how I have always upheld my position with dignity and respect. Alex: Lie, you mean. REg: Whatever it takes. ↗

— Suzanne Enoch

#romance #respect

The Jabalites .... They worship no god; and if we in goodness of heart do send a missionary to show them the way of life, they listen with respect to all he hath to say, and then they eat him. This doth tend to hinder the spread of light. ↗

— Mark Twain

#religion #life

The fact that pigs were abroad in the night seemed to bring home to me the perilous nature of my enterprise. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#p-g-wodehouse #right-ho-jeeves #home

The blind lead the blind; we will come to sea. ↗

— Sumanth Bharadwaj

#humor #life #love #philosophy #science

You always have to be prepared that the thing we want most desperately to happen may not happen the way we think. That takes faith. So why not try wanting to see something happen without desperation. ↗

— Art Hochberg

#inspirational #art

The unexpected things in life are often the most interesting and can impact us greatly. ↗

— Art Hochberg

#inspirational #art

It’s not great when your husband thinks the only guy who can talk to you, is some other guy. ↗

— Jonas Eriksson

#comedy #hollywood #hollywood-culture #humor #romantic

What were you thinking when we were holding hands diagonally?" I ask. Jeff says, "I was thinking, 'It's going to be so hard for her when she chooses not to get on that lifeboat and stay with me.'" I decide I can't start this marriage with a lie. "Really?" I say. "'Cause I was thinking that it was going to be so hard for you when I got on the lifeboat and you had to stay behind." He is appalled. I plead my case. "Remember when we saw Titanic how mad I was at Kate Winslet when she climbed out of the lifeboat and back into the ship? I think she encumbered Leonardo DiCaprio. If she had gone on the lifeboat, then he could have had that piece of wood she was floating on and they both would have survived. I would never do that to you." I wait for his response, hoping that in the twenty-first century romantic love can be defined as not lying about your plans to get on the lifeboat and remembering to get your partner some pills. He just laughs. With that settled, we begin our married life. ↗

— Tina Fey

#humor

Men were just plain ridiculous with how little time it took them to get handsome. ↗

— Gina Robinson

#love #romance #love

Let's look at this rationally...We've got a doctor who may kill him, an Attorney General who wants to declare him bananas, and a Defense Secretary who wants me to start World War III...First, we ruled out starting World War III. We were down to killing the President or having him carted off by the men in white coats... ↗

— Christopher Buckley

#men