#humor

For the love of mercy, I cannot walk into mediation with a swollen vagina, Cash. Please.” I smile against her thigh, rubbing my scratchy face against the softness of her skin. “Is that what I’m doing?” Innocence—fuck no. I can’t even fake that shit. ↗

— Pella Grace

#romance #love

It seems to me that a man who can think straight along for forty-seven years without changing a single idea ought to be kept in a cabinet as a curiosity. ↗

— Jean Webster

#change

I do not understand what makes mothers think they are walking-talking thermometers.But I think somewhere during the process of giving birth and changing diapers, they actually begin to belive they have this supernatural sense. ↗

— Melody Carlson

#mothers #supernatural #change

Zip it kiddo. Don't ever admit you know a thing about cooking or it'll be used against you later in life. ↗

— Rebecca Wells

#humor #humor

A line of perspiration slipped down my spine like a waterslide at an unamusement park. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#vampire #humor

She was so young how could she understand… Exactly how young was she Matthew’s mouth went dry. “Dearest how old are you ” “Almost twenty.” Damnation. He was a bloody cradle robber. ↗

— Lydia Dare

#robber #underage #humor

Why do you work so hard to make yourself disliked? I should think you'd find it happens enough on its own without putting yourself to any extra trouble. ↗

— Steven Brust

#personality #humor

They think my mother's ashes are marijuana. ↗

— Graham Greene

#humor

They mean hot like 'I'm too good for you I got my own money don't be frontin' me.' You're more like 'Be my boyfriend I'll make you cookies come meet my dad ' know what I mean ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#girls #humor #humor

You‟re my mate. Think you can handle that?” It was hard to speak with her heart bursting open. “Think you can handle me?” “So long as you're gentle with me.”" Emmett to Ria - Whisper of sin ↗

— Nalini Singh

#love #nalini-singh #humor