#humor

Your Majesty,” Durzo said gravely. “A man of your stature’s cursing vocabulary ought to extend beyond a tedious reiteration of the excreta that fills the void between his ears.” - Durzo Blint ↗

— Brent Weeks

#fantasy #humor

One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor

When you feel like throwing rocks, make sure they're ones no one can throw back. ↗

— Rebecca McKinsey

#boldness #humor #words #wordsmithing #humor

It was as if he grew his hair long and smoked cigarettes because he liked to, not because he liked being seen to. This was dangerously subversive. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#subversive #humor

Me: I think we should have sex again. Royce: Bad idea. Me: Why? Royce: I want more from you than sex. Me: Goodbye, you prudish bastard. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor

We love you Effie! ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#humor

Watching TV mum said," Do you miss your dad?" And I said," Who? ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor #lousie-rennison #humor

It's hard not to immediately fall in love witha dog who has a good sense of humor. ↗

— Kate DiCamillo

#humor

Yesterday I typed Agatha a love letter, and I typed it on a Dvorak keyboard so my typing could keep pace with my elevated heart rate. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love-letter #humor

Men exist because a vibrator can't fix a flat tire. On second thought, I should just buy a AAA card... ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor