#humor

Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

First, it’s used.” “Now look here,” Teddy Jo growled. “It’s not a Cadillac. It’s a body freezer. The value doesn’t drop because you drive it off the lot.” “I don’t know what sort of bodies you stuck in there, Teddy. You might have put a leucrocuta in there. Those things stink.” “It’s not like the dead gonna care. They can’t smell shit, and they themselves ain’t gonna get to smelling any better. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

No one told you to call your band Salacious Mold, my friend." "We're Millennium Lint now," Simon protested ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

And vampires never sparkle unless they just ate a stripper. ↗

— James R. Tuck

#vampires #humor

So, you figure they won't notice you're back?" sneered the marquis. "Just, 'oh look, there's another angel, here, grab a harp and on with the hosannas'? ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor

I don’t know how to explain it.” “Try words. If that doesn’t work, we’ll move on to interpretive dance. ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

What is the world coming to, when you can't even trust a rogue vicar and her demon lover? ↗

— Simon R. Green

#humor

Jace was very pale, with hectic spots like fever on his cheekbones. "But it was Valentine. I saw him. In fact, he had the Sword with him when he came down to the cells and taunted me through the bars. It was like a bad movie, except he didn't actually twirl his mustache. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace #valentine #humor

Well, why did you kill Jeremiah? And don't bother feeding me some story about how you just happened to wander along after he spontaneously died. I know you did this. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace #valentine #humor