#humor

You know what's really freaky? Wes segues. "The fact that the psycho in question was the same guy who was after Debbie Marcus." The whole fiasco with Debbie Marcus had happened at around the same time that I was getting stalked. But instead of taking her seriously, people chalked her stories up to pranks and practical jokes, concluding that Debbie had gotten paranoid as a result. But there was obviously a lot more to it. "Actually, its not nearly as freaky as the fact that Camelia decided to go to the psycho's house without even calling us first," Kimmie says. "I already told you guys, I didn't have my phone." "And you've obviously never heard of a collect call," Wes says. "Nor have you heard of nine-one-one." Kimmie's barbell-pierced eyebrow rises high. "Because I hear that's free as well. ↗

— Laurie Faria Stolarz

#deadly-little-voices #humor #kimmie #wes #humor

I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true. ↗

— Katharine Hepburn

#humor

The porpoises said hello to Molly. She told them all her teeth were green. ↗

— Dave Barry

#humor

Leo scratched his head. Well, I dunno about enchiladas- "Enceladus" Piper corrected. Whatever. But Old Potty Face mentioned another name. Porpoise Fear, or something? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#leo #potty-face #humor

There's no room for demons when you're self-possessed. ↗

— Carrie Fisher

#self-deprecation #humor

I'm an orphan!" Constance cried gleefully. "I'm an orphan!" ~ The Prisoner's Dilemma ↗

— Trenton Lee Stewart

#the-mysterious-benedict-society #humor

Genna: “My straw has a hole in it!” Tim: *gives her a Really? look* Genna: “One that it’s not meant to have! ↗

— Timmothy Radman

#misunderstanding #obvious #straw #humor

A short distance away is the Tidal Basin, ringed by cherry trees that every year produce flowers, an event to which Washingtonians react as though it were the Second Coming of Christ. ↗

— Dave Barry

#washington-dc #humor

Had she punished him enough? How could she be sure? ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor