#humor

Sow a thought and reap an action, sow an action and reap a habit, sow a habit and reap a destiny - John Cleaver ↗

— Dan Wells

#fiction #humor

You know, drinking milk doesn't make your boobs get any bigger. ↗

— Peach-Pit

#humor #ikuto #manga #shugo-chara #humor

Romance is like maintaining a car. If you do a good job of it, you will always have a dependable quiet ride. ↗

— T.R. Wallace

#romance #whimsy #humor

Damon Scares me,' Maggie said. 'Maybe you should do what he wants.' 'Can't.' 'Why not?' 'Because he killed me. That kind of pisses me off ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#humor

Your neck smells like cheese,' I said. 'Oh,' He said, 'that's my cheese cologne. I have a whole selection. Chedder, American, Swiss. ↗

— Kristin Walker

#humor #todd #humor

I felt my cell phone buzz, and I looked at the screen. Ranger. “Your GPS just went blank,” Ranger said when I answered. “The car exploded.” There was a beat of silence. “Rafael won the pool,” Ranger said. “Are you okay?” “Yes.” “I’ll send someone. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

Alex sat playing with the remote, turning it over in his hand. A long moment passed, and then he cleared his throat."Look... I'm sorry," he said. "What I said i that first night- " He stopped and sighed, tossing the remote onto the bed. Scraping his hand through his hair, he said, "When I first found out, it just threw me,OK? For a lot of reasons. I don't-I don't think you're like the angels. And I've been acting like a jerk. I'm sorry." A smile grew slowley across my face. "Yes you have," I said "But apology accepted. ↗

— L.A. Weatherly

#humor

You have two eyes, and two ears, but only one mouth. This is so because you are supposed to look and listen more than you talk. ↗

— Lucca Kaldahl

#eyes #humor #listen #looking #mouth

Chance wore a white tuxedo with tails. On anyone else? Doopy. On him? Yes, please. ↗

— Kathy Reichs

#virals #humor

Everything good in there, T? Niko quipped. You need backup or anything? Bag of marshmallows to roast over that little campfire you just started? ↗

— Lara Adrian

#humor