#humor

Beethoven can write music, thank God - but he can do nothing else on earth. ↗

— Ludwig van Beethoven

#music #humor

Last hopeless chances have got to work. Nothing makes sense otherwise. You might as well not be alive. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#life #sublime #humor

What New England is, is a state of mind, a place where dry humor and perpetual disappointment blend to produce an ironic pessimism that folks from away find most perplexing ↗

— Willem Lange

#dry-humor #humor #new-england #perplexing #pessimism

I'm not racist, I've got a black president ↗

— Dane Cook

#humor #humor

And also...well...i told them I want to get an apartment with him next year rather than live in the dorms." What'd they say?" Over their dead bodies." What did you say?" I asked whether they wanted to be burie or cremated. ↗

— Carolyn Mackler

#humor

Never sleep with a lady only once, especially in the case of an older lady. -'Rhett ↗

— Rowena Cherry

#humor #racy #romance #rules-for-a-rake #sperm-donor

She refused to let common sense cloud her judgment. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

...it seems to us that the readers who want fiction to be like life are considerably outnumbered by those who would like life to be like fiction. ↗

— Sarah Caudwell

#humor

You were sleeping?" said Princess One. "No," I said. "Sometimes I just like to lie in the dark for hours with my eyes closed. ↗

— Melissa Kantor

#humor

Cyn stopped, drawing a deep breath. "Will you answer the fucking question or not? There's more at stake here than Raphael's Dick" Duncan choked back a laugh. ↗

— D.B. Reynolds

#jabril #vampires-in-america #humor