#humor

Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here. ↗

— Moira Young

#humor #ike #business

If the Lord hasn't got a boyfriend lined up for me to marry, that's his business. ↗

— Barbara Kingsolver

#humor #love #poisonwood-bible #business

In the action business, when you don't want to say you ran like a mouse, you call it 'taking cover.' It's more heroic. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#heroism #humor #business

It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#magic-bleeds #business

When I'm out of politics I'm going to run a business, it'll be called rent-a-spine ↗

— Margaret Thatcher

#politics #business

Though Alec had never seen the occupants of the first floor loft, they seemed to be engaged in a tempestuous romance. Once there had been a bunch of someone's belongings strewn all over the landing with a note attached to a jacket lapel addressed to "A lying liar who lies." Right now there was a bouquet of flowers taped to the door with a card tucked among the blooms that read I'M SORRY. That was the thing about New York: you always knew more about your neighbors' business than you wanted to. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#apartment #cassandra-clare #city-of-lost-souls #funny #humor

Those guys who want to have the Mohawk...which, to me, is the new business casual. ↗

— Gerard Way

#humor #life #music #business

I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#demetri-martin #funny #games #helping-others #humor

We're here on Sanctuary business," Skulduggery tried. The man on Deadfall's right bristled, and Deadfall grinned. "Hear that, Pete? They're with that Sanctuary." Hokum Pete snarled. "I hate the Sanctuary." "Oh," Skulduggery said. "We all hate the Sanctuary." "Ah. Then we're not here on Sanctuary business. I was just joking. ↗

— Derek Landy

#business

Naptime,ʺ said Christian, leading her toward the bed. ʺI still need a shower.ʺ ʺSleep first. Shower later.ʺ He pulled back the covers. ʺIʹll sleep with you.ʺ ʺSleep or sleep?ʺ she asked dryly, sliding gratefully into bed. ʺReal sleep. You need it.ʺ He crawled in beside her, spooning against her and resting his face on her shoulder. ʺOf course, afterward, if you want to conduct any official Council business...ʺ ʺI swear, if you say ‘Little Dragomirs,ʹ you can sleep in the hall. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#business