#humor

There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humorous #humor

I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction. ↗

— Clarence Darrow

#death #humor #death

You've got no sense of humor." I'm going to laugh really hard after I kick your ass. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#death

Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking towards Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty To Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You've Given Them A Good Thumping but secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People travelled with them. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #death

I have lots of faith," the fallen angel said as he crouched down and coaxed the dog closer. "I have faith that this is a bad idea. She's not going to belive you. She's going to think we're nuts. She's going to call the police unless she has a record, and if she does she'll run away. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor #faith

I don't want the whole world, I just want your half. ↗

— They Might Be Giants

#humor

Zayvion and I had an agreement that we were going to give this relationship everything we could. And that included trust, faith, and honesty. Not a single one of which was among my strong points. ↗

— Devon Monk

#faith

There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends. ↗

— Sylvia Plath

#humor #shared-ordeal #friendship

There were upsides to the whole mess. While Douglas was holding me hostage, I’d met a girl—I mean, screw dating websites and house parties; apparently all the really eligible ladies are being held in cages these days. I would have liked to see Brid fill out a dating questionnaire, though. What would she put? “Hi, my name is Bridin Blackthorn. I’m next in line to rule the local werewolf pack. I like long walks on the beach and destroying my enemies. I have four older brothers, so watch your step. We’ll be forming a queue to the left for potential suitors.” And, trust me, there would be a queue. ↗

— Lish McBride

#dating-service #humor #dating

I guess it could be worse. My name could be Tlaquepaque, or Irkutsk, or Pyongyang. Or, you know, Pittsburgh. Sometimes I flip through the atlas just to remind myself of all the names that would be worse than mine. ↗

— Tamara Summers

#humor #jack #jakarta #names #dating