#humor

Boredom will continue to be an epidemic in the leisure class until public yawning is made profitable in the sick class. ↗

— Bauvard

#class #funny #humor #sickness #funny

Double Sword Tavern.” Tristan said, reading out loud. “Sounds charming and inviting. ↗

— B.C. Morin

#funny #sarcasm-humor #funny

Its a flash drive." When his only answer was a blank stare, I continued. "It holds information from a computer." He took the drive from me giving it a hard shake. When nothing came out, he proceded to tap it against the edge of the windowsill. "How do we get the information out?" - Kale and Deznee - Touch ↗

— Jus Accardo

#humor #funny

I like watching fashion models walk down the runway, do a little turn, and splatter across the windshield of an airliner. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #modeling #funny

I like to write in poorly lit conditions. It allows darkness to creep into my humor, and bad eyesight to excuse me from accountability. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #writing #funny

I always procrastinate. It allows me to do what I want now without sacrificing my goals for the future. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #goals #humor #procrastination #funny

The way you might fear a cow sitting down in the middle of the street during rush hour, that's how I fear Canadians. ↗

— Maria Semple

#humor #funny

I sat down and tried to write a story. "Ian MacArthur is a wonderful sweet fellow who wears glasses and peers out of them with delight." That was the first sentence. The problem was that I just couldn't think of the next one. After cleaning my room three times, I decided to leave Ian alone for a while because I was starting to get mad at him. ↗

— Stephen Chbosky

#funny #humor #writer-s-block #writing #writing-process

Intellectuals are useless, and as a pseudo-intellectual I can't help but envy the practicality of that. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #pseuso-intellectuals #uselessness #funny

To sympathize with the suffering of others forges understanding, but that doesn't mean they'll put up with you. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #sympathy #toleration #funny