#humour

I won't consider getting horizontal with someone I can barely tolerate when we're vertical. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#sex-humour #funny

Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting. ↗

— Derek Landy

#funny #girl #gracious #humour #hunting

What’s your favourite position?” “I usually play winger.” “Zach, I adore you, but you can’t make soccer jokes during phone sex. It just isn’t done. ↗

— Tiffany Reisz

#funny #humour #funny

What we’ve got here is a lunatic genius ghost-in-the-computer monorail that likes riddles and goes faster than the speed of sound. Welcome to the fantasy version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. ↗

— Stephen King

#funny #humourous #funny

I like mountains, always have done. Big obstinate bits of rock sticking up where they're not wanted and getting in folk's way. Great. Climbing them is a different matter altogether though. I hate that. ↗

— Mark Lawrence

#funny #humour #mountains #funny

When they’re together, the world could fall apart around them and they’d never notice or care as long as they have each other. About Alex and Brittany. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

Now I know this is going to seem counter to every instinct that you have, but I'm going to ask you to sit still, or I'll put you in the trunk. ↗

— Anna White

#funny #humour #jack #jack-to-samara #samara

I'm too young, too smart and too good-looking to die. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humour #humor

Rhett: If you've made up your mind to impale someone, do it with conviction. ↗

— Rowena Cherry

#fantasy #futuristic #humor #humour #rhett

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I lied, I like your Star Wars sheets, you're not that bad of a driver, and I swear on my Very Cherry lip gloss that I will never lie to you again. ↗

— Gemma Halliday

#humour #humor