#humour

A few days earlier, Adriana and I had been browsing books at the local library. I happened to turn around and look at her...and that was it. The man who "loved to laugh" in Mary Poppins had nothing on us. ↗

— Gina Marinello-Sweeney

#love

I liked, as I like still, to make words look self-conscious and foolish, to bind them by mock marriage of a pun, to turn them inside out, to come upon them unawares. What is this jest in majesty? This ass in passion? How do god and devil combine to form a live dog? ↗

— Vladimir Nabokov

#marriage

When she smiles niggers ask her for her hand in marriage; when I smile folks check their wallets. ↗

— Junot Díaz

#marriage

She had surrendered her virtue at six-and-ten, to a beautiful blond-haired sailor on a trading galley up from Lys. He only knew six words of the Common Tongue, but “fuck” was one of them—the very word she’d hoped to hear. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humour #beauty

Submit! Juliet's Joy screeches underneath him at no one in particular. "I've got to get a new horse," the Mayor mutters. ↗

— Patrick Ness

#men

If you want a man who's commited, go look in a mental hospital. ↗

— Alexandra Potter

#humour #men #men

Men," she said rueful, "are the most absurd creatures on this green earth." "But there are camels," Gabriel pointed out. "Believe me," she answered. "I've taken camels into consideration. ↗

— Zoe Archer

#creatures #humour #men #men

I also think pronunciation of a foreign tongue could be better taught than by demanding from the pupil those internal acrobatic feats that are generally impossible and always useless. This is the sort of instruction one recieves: 'Press your tonsils against the underside of your larynx. Then with the convex part of the septum curved upwards so as almostbut not quiteto touch the uvula try with the tip of your tongue to reach your thyroid. Take a deep breath and compress your glottis. Now without opening your lips say "Garoo".' And when you have done it they are not satisfied. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#humour #language #pronunciation #men

We're on a mission from Glod. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#music

The Captain of the Watch says if you're still in the City by sunrise he will personally have you buried alive. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#music