#humour

Yeah, but will it hurt?”’ I asked. “This is science, Zach,” Randy said, reassuringly, as he tilted my head back and lowered the lens to my eye. “Of course it will hurt. ↗

— John Zakour

#sci-fi #sci-fi-humour-comedy #science

A five-week sand blizzard?" said Deep Thought haughtily. "You ask this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big Bang itself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humour #science-fiction #science

There is much to discover that's not on the back cover! ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#back-covers #book #book-cover #book-cover-quotes #book-covers

This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the Queen welcomed him home, and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart. ↗

— John Aubrey

#humour #home

Think of the most fussy science teacher you ever had. The one who docked your grade if the sixth decimal place in your answer was rounded incorrectly; who tucked in his periodic table T-shirt, corrected every student who said "weight" when he or she meant "mass", and made everyone, including himself, wear goggles even while mixing sugar water. Now try to imagine someone whom your teacher would hate for being anal-retentive. That is the kind of person who works for a bureau of standards and measurement. ↗

— Sam Kean

#humour #science #imagination

The gods damn you, look what you've done! If I want to grow this back, I'll have to endure the most terrifying sex imaginable! Gaahhhhhhh! ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#imagination

Weather is a purely personal matter. There is no such thing as a climate that is cold or hot, good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. People take it upon themselves to create a fantasy in their imagination and call it weather. There's only one climate in the world, but the message that nature sends is interpreted according to strictly personal, non-transferable rules. ↗

— Álvaro Mutis

#philosophy #weather #imagination

Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#life

When he didn't answer, she didn't know if it was because he couldn't or if he was back to not talking to her. Back to pushing her out of his life. Men! Why was it that boys said girls were so hard to understand, when she hadn't known a single guy who hadn't confused her to the point of screaming? ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#humour #kylie #men #taken-at-dusk #life

Don't ask me who's influenced me. A lion is made up of all the lambs he's digested, and I've been reading all my life. ↗

— George Seferis

#influence #life