#humour

Well he should get over himself. He tried to get me burned at the stake in Brit History yesterday. Here I am minding my own business like a good little girl, and out of the blue Tucker raises his hand and accuses me of being a witch" "sounds like something Tucker would do" admits wendy. "Everybody had to vote on it. I barely escaped with my nuns life. Obviously I'll have to return the favour. ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#business

If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#commercialism #core #core-of-the-soul #core-values #devil

Money's scarce Times are hard Here's your fucking Xmas card ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#humour #money

Jesus, Morelli, you sound like you have PMS. You have to learn to lighten up a little. It's just a car alarm. You should be thanking me. I had it installed with my own money. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#money

Jumping to conclusions is like playing with damp gunpowder: both likely to go off in wrong direction. ↗

— Charlie Chang

#humour #myster #change

We Slovenians are even better misers than you Scottish. You know how Scotland began? One of us Slovenians was spending too much money, so we put him on a boat and he landed in Scotland. ↗

— Slavoj Žižek

#misers #money #scotland #scots #slovenians

I had never before been a special fan of that great comedian Phyllis Diller, but she utterly won my heart this week by sending me an envelope that, when opened, contained a torn-off square of brown-bag paper of the kind suitable for latrine duty in an ill-run correctional facility. Duly unfurled, it carried a handwritten salutation reading as follows: Money's scarce Times are hard Here's your f****** Xmas card I could not possibly improve on the sentiment, but I don't think it ought to depend on the current austerities. Isn't Christmas a moral and aesthetic nightmare whether or not the days are prosperous? ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#comedy #humour #phyllis-diller #money

(Wash) I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar! ↗

— Joss Whedon

#firefly #humour #spirit #spirit

I got swirling eyes and the capacity to shatter windows with my bare voice. Tod got teleportation and invisibility. The supernatural world is so far from fair. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#supernatural #supernatural

This was the tricky bit. The really tricky bit, trickiness cubed. ↗

— Hugh Laurie

#hugh-laurie #humour #guns