#humour

I was in Cancun, Mexico, sitting in a disappearing-edge swimming pool, on a bar stool that was actually under the water, watching palm trees sway in a sultry breeze against the unmistakable aqua splendor of the Caribbean Sea; drinking coconut, lime, and tequila from a scooped-out pineapple, with salt spray of breaking surf and sun kissing my skin. Translation: I'd died and gone to heaven. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#the-sun-watches-the-sun

He had them as spellbound as a room full of Ewoks listening to C-3PO. ↗

— Cory Doctorow

#humour #robots #scifi #spellbinding #star-wars

[Kendra] also referred to Tizoc Theron, one of the most powerful mercenaries in all of vampiric existence, as her "Tizzy". The Inquisition was "a dreadful inconvenience," World War II was "a little spat" and the fall of Midnight, the vampiric empire that had reigned for centurie, was "an unfortunate event. ↗

— Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

#world-war-ii

Blasted spam pigeons! ↗

— Kate Beaton

#humour #pigeons #spam #humor

I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell," Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#money

Jumping up and down is definitely sexy," Vayl assured me. "Would you like to do it two or three times right now before we get down to business?" Sterling and Cole groaned at the same time "Ewww! ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#business

Brooke?" he finally found the sense to ask. "What are you doing here?" "I need a gun." This was not how his dream was supposed to go. ↗

— Shannon K. Butcher

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #dreams

The two guys who ran the place, always in Williamsburg hipster uniforms of short-sleeved shirts and neatly trimmed beards that looked stuck on with spirit gum, paid, as ever, no attention to anything but the food and the money. Tallow imagined that every night they counted their money and prided themselves on having not made eye contact with anything human. ↗

— Warren Ellis

#food

Bear with me G-Harrison because this is going to be a long speech. I’ve always had this feeling that the world is not enough and I won’t be happy in life unless I hold hands with a girl who has a golden eye and a gold finger; I beat the living daylights out a guy called Dr No; I get a postcard from my friend who lives in Russia which reads ‘From Russia with love’; I spend some time working for her majesty’s secret service; I play the Thunderball Super Spud lottery; I meet a guy called Moonraker; I finally get a licence to kill, which I applied for months ago; I buy a house with a view to kill for and I get a pet octopus called Octopussy. If only I lived twice and tomorrow never died, maybe then I would get a chance to fulfil my dreams. ↗

— Michael Diack

#humour #james-bond #dreams

There's so much light in Broughty Ferry. I think the humour in Glasgow is darker, because it's much more gloomy, there's a perpetual misery there. ↗

— Brian Cox

#darker #ferry #glasgow #gloomy #humour