#humour

My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion

When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them? ↗

— Maya Banks

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

In Britain, a cup of tea is the answer to every problem. Fallen off your bicycle? Nice cup of tea. Your house has been destroyed by a meteorite? Nice cup of tea and a biscuit. Your entire family has been eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex that has travelled through a space/time portal? Nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. Possibly a savoury option would be welcome here too, for example a Scotch egg or a sausage roll. ↗

— David Walliams

#britishness #cake #humour #tea #tyrannosaurus-rex

I definitely try to mix humour into anything I do, even if it is into a drama. ↗

— Jorge Garcia

#definitely #drama #even #humour #i

I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#anybody #art #because #becomes #comedy

I think, for me, humour needs to be used like a strong spice - sparingly. ↗

— George Murray

#i #i think #like #me #needs

Contrary to my image, I do have a sense of humour. ↗

— Andy Murray

#humour #i #i do #image #sense

If you find yourself suddenly mated to a werewolf, whatever you do, don't panic. Simply turn to Jen for assistance and she will give you a cool acronym to call him…because that's just so important." -Sally ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#funny #humourous-situations #sally #funny

Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#destruction #earthquakes #floods #funny #funny-and-random

All I could determine was that it must have been a nice thing to see if it was a house you were thinking about moving into. But not so nice if it was the house you were moving out from. I could practically hear Mr Collins, who had taught my fifth-grade English class and was still the most intimidating teacher I'd ever had, yelling at me. "Amy Curry," I could still hear him intoning, "never end a sentence with a preposition!" Irked that after six hears he was still mentally correcting me, I told the Mr. Collins in my head to off fuck. ↗

— Morgan Matson

#books #funny #humour #funny