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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humour
The gods damn you, look what you've done! If I want to grow this back, I'll have to endure the most terrifying sex imaginable! Gaahhhhhhh! ↗
Weather is a purely personal matter. There is no such thing as a climate that is cold or hot, good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. People take it upon themselves to create a fantasy in their imagination and call it weather. There's only one climate in the world, but the message that nature sends is interpreted according to strictly personal, non-transferable rules. ↗
Oh, measure it all out! Acceptable levels of misery and suffering!' The cane swung down, thumped hard on the ground. 'Acceptable? Who the fuck says any level is acceptable? What sort of mind thinks that?' Karsa grinned, 'Why, a civilized one.' 'Indeed!' Shadowthrone turned to Cotillion. 'And you doubted this one! ↗
Honestly, Jared, one thing at a time. Why are you in a well with me? This is a really bad rescue!" [...] "I called the police as I was running to the well. I'm sure they're coming." "Did they say they were coming?" Kami asked suspiciously. "Or did you shout, 'Kami's in the well!' before jumping in the well too, thus loosing your phone and making sure the police think it was some kids playing a dumb joke?" Jared paused. [...] "Alternate plan," Jared said. "Do you have a very intelligent collie who might communicate through a system of barks to your parents that little Kami is in the well? ↗
The Tausennigan Ob'enn warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears? Yes, they do, and they'd cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation! I guess that explains their rich military history, then. -Ennesbey & Petey ↗
Through the door came a being of intense vivacity, impeccable sartorial integrity, and intermittent intelligibility. ↗
The thingy? You want me, the most intelligent cognitive processor in the known worlds, to say thingy?” “Yes,” I reaffirmed. “That is correct." Do you stay up nights thinking of ways to humiliate me?" HARV asked. ↗
Is Jase already gonna marry you?” I start coughing again. “Uh, No. No, George. I’m only seventeen.” As if that’s the only reason we’re not engaged. “I’m this many.” George holds up four, slightly grubby fingers. “But Jase is seventeen and a half. You could. Then you could live in here with him. And have a big family.” Jase strides back into the room, of course, midway through this proposition. “George. Beat it. Discovery Channel is on.” George backs out of the room but not before saying, “His bed’s really comfortable. And he never pees in it. ↗
