#humour

The Petriana’s tribune dismounted a dozen paces short of the gate and stalked up to the palisade wall with a grim smile, squinting up at Scaurus and his officers and then glancing back at the men building the pyre on the plain below the fortress. He called up to them, shielding his eyes with a raised hand. ‘Well now, colleague, I see you’ve accomplished your orders with the usual efficiency. Perhaps you ought to come down here and join me, though. I’ve something to tell you that will give you some pause for thought.’ Scaurus climbed down from the wall after instructing Julius to keep the men inside the Dinpaladyr at their tasks. ‘You’d better come with me, Centurion Corvus, I suspect I’m going to need someone to take notes of whatever it is my brother tribune has to tell me. I may well be too busy banging my head on the palisade in frustration. ↗

— Anthony Riches

#humour #officers #soldiers #business

What did one say when a gentleman confessed to a shortcoming? She couldn’t recall ever hearing one do so before, but surely, sometime in the course of history, some gentleman had. (Lucy about Gregory, On the Way to the Wedding, Bridgertons #8, by Julia Quinn). ↗

— Julia Quinn

#men

Centurion! Would you like to be a cavalryman one last time? There are Venicones who escaped when your line was broken to be hunted down, and Tribune Licinius has ordered me to take the best men available in their pursuit. Leave this hairy gentleman to watch the fun, and join us in the hunt! ↗

— Anthony Riches

#humour #soldiers #men

Never trust a species that grins all the time. It’s up to something. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humour #ulterior-motive #motivational

Klokken 9 om kvelden nådde vi skyss-skiftet Kvisberg, men da hadde vi allerede for lenge siden tatt avskjed med veien, som var avgått ved en stille død etter lengre tid å ha kjempet med det protesterende terreng. ↗

— Esau Kessler John

#men

I often say if men were meant to fly we would have been born with either feathers and wings or at the very least parachutes that pop out of our butts. ↗

— John Zakour

#funny #humour #men

Just get to lunch,” I muttered to myself. It was the only way I could control my anxiety. In 1998, I’d made it through Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL, or BUD/S, by focusing on just making it to the next meal. It didn’t matter if I couldn’t feel my arms as we hoisted logs over our heads or if the cold surf soaked me to the core. It wasn’t going to last forever. There is a saying: “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer is simple: “One bite at a time.” Only my bites were separated by meals: Make it to breakfast, train hard until lunch, and focus until dinner. Repeat. ↗

— Mark Owen

#motivational #motivational

Aragorn: Gentlemen! We do not stop 'til nightfall. Pippin: But what about breakfast? Aragorn: You've already had it. Pippin: We've had one, yes. But what about second breakfast? [Aragorn stares at him, then walks off.] Merry: Don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip. Pippin: What about elevensies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he? Merry: I wouldn't count on it Pip. ↗

— Peter Jackson

#lord-of-the-rings-movie #movies

...and - holy shit was this song bad. It was like the singer was stabbing my ear with a dagger made of dried turds. ↗

— David Wong

#bad-rap #criticism #humour #music #music

Yeah, you're a regular Mozart...well, except for the whole music thing. ↗

— James Dashner

#music #music