#humour

Some battles don’t have a winner. Sometimes the best a good general can hope for is a ceasefire ↗

— Emma Chase

#inspirational #inspirational

.« Nik has obviously spoken to Nat about my candy preferences. Written in raspberry bullets is ‘I’m sorry’. Written in green apple jellybeans is ‘I miss you’. Written in cherry jellybeans is ‘I love you’. My heart skips a beat at the last line. Written in gummy bears is ‘Marry me’. Did Nik just propose using candy? Why, yes, brain. Yes, he did. » ↗

— Belle Aurora

#love

Mr. Brundy, you are no doubt as well acquainted with my circumstances as I am with yours, so let us not beat about the bush. I have a fondness for the finer things in life, and I suppose I always will. As a result, I am frightfully expensive to maintain. I have already bankrupted my father, and have no doubt I should do the same to you, should you be so foolhardy as to persist in the desire for such a union. Furthermore, I have a shrewish disposition and a sharp tongue. My father, having despaired of seeing me wed to a gentleman of my own class, has ordered me to either accept your suit or seek employment. If I married you, it would be only for your wealth, and only because I find the prospect of marriage to you preferable –but only slightly!- to the life of a governess or a paid companion. If, knowing this, you still wish to marry me, why, you have only to name the day.” Having delivered herself of this speech, Lady Helen waited expectantly for Mr. Brundy’s stammering retraction. Her suitor pondered her words for a long moment, then made his response. “’ow about Thursday? ↗

— Sheri Cobb South

#marriage-proposal #marriage

People throw stones at you and you convert them into milestones. ↗

— Sachin Tendulkar

#inspirational-quotes #life-and-living #motivational-quotes #inspirational

Why be ordinary when you can be extraordinary? ↗

— Alan Dapre

#inspirational #motivational #inspirational

...some men say get them crying on your shoulder and you have the sheets half-unfurled already. Other fellows say get them laughing. I say get them drunk. I ordered up more Riesling... ↗

— Stewart Hennessey

#russian-revolution #sex #women #men

Tiffany knew what the problem was immediately. She'd seen it before, at birthday parties. Her brother was suffering from tragic sweet deprivation. Yes, he was surrounded by sweets. But the moment he took any sweet at all, said his sugar-addled brain, that meant he was not taking all the rest. And there were so many sweets he'd never be able to eat them all. It was too much to cope with. The only solution was to burst into tears. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#discworld #humour #sweets #tiffany-aching #men

Innovation Big pain, no shame being same-to-same ↗

— Praveen Kumar

#humour #inspirational #motivational #funny

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for. ↗

— W.C. Fields

#inspirational #inspirational

It's not that I want to work for Williams-Sonoma, per se, it's just that you guys have the money and I don't. ↗

— FAXBoy

#humour #inspirational #inspirational