#humour

He, Cromwell, says to his visitors, just tell them this, and tell them loud: to each monk, one bed: to each bed, one monk. Is that so hard for them? ↗

— Hilary Mantel

#religion #religion

Look!" Hawkeye said. Duke looked where Hawkeye was pointing. In one corner, kneeling on the dirt floor with his elbows on his cot, a Bible in front of him, his lips moving slowly, and oblivious to all about him, was Major Jonathan Hobson. "Jesus," Hawkeye said. "It don't look like Him," Duke said. ↗

— Richard Hooker

#humour #religion #religion

We could all use the power of prayer now and then, but it seems to me that the people who are sure they have a direct line to heaven are most often calling collect with bad news. ↗

— Mark Abramson

#prayer #religion #religion

Jerry Falwell said that the reason that September 11th happened, the reason that God allowed it to happen, was because of certain people in our country. People like, and I'm quoting, 'the pagans,' which is a motorcycle group. Feminists; he brought up feminists. [...] And I couldn't believe it, he said that God had actually talked to him and said, these were the people. That was the reason. It was those people, and that was the reason God allowed this to happen. And I thought, 'That's odd.' Because God had called me twelve hours before, and He said the reason He was upset was because of people like Jerry Falwell. ↗

— Lewis Black

#humour #politics #religion #theology #religion

Whew,” he said. “You clean up good. You don’t look like the same girl.” She frowned right before she laughed. “Do women usually thank you for saying things like that? ↗

— Robyn Carr

#funny #humour #romance #contemporary

Seduction is merely encouraging a man to do something he already wants to do. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#seductionu #seduction

Damn straight" said Connor. " So yeah, I look at you and I could suck start a leaf blower, or drill a Kevin-shaped body hole into the wall, like a cartoon. ↗

— Z.A. Maxfield

#m-m-romance #mystery-suspense #suspense

Stupid werewolf ninja sperm. ↗

— Molly Harper

#paranormal-romance #werewolves #werewolves

Highland werewolves had a reputation for doing atrocious and highly unwarranted *things*, like wearing smoking jackets to the dinner table. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#werewolves

What happened to the days of the hero rescuing the damsel in distress?" Not that I could envisage Heather as a damsel in distress. "Those days are long gone, Brendan. Nowadays, the damsel takes care of herself, and on occasion she might even rescue the hero, if she feels he deserves it." "I'm screwed, then. ↗

— Elizabeth Morgan

#paranormal-romance-werewolves #paranormal-series #werewolves