#humour

Hal frowned. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" "Uh, live in a tropical paradise for a week and sip fruity drinks with umbrellas in them by the pool? Yeah, Hal," I said, cranking up the sarcasm far past eleven, "that's a fate worse than death. I don't know what I was thinking." "No," he said, stretching the word out longer than was healthy for it, "I was thinking more like going on a honeymoon without a wife." I dropped a sock and looked up at him, stung. "Don't rub it in, man. ↗

— Cary Attwell

#left-at-the-altar #death

..the nuclear family from across the street, which, as a result of decay, truly did have 2.5 kids; ↗

— Robin Becker

#humour #zombies #death

It ought to be an offense to be excruciating and unfunny in circumstances where your audience is almost morally obliged to enthuse. ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#death #humour #morality #death

Sometime later the islanders on a little rimward atoll were amazed to find, washed into their little local lagoon, the wave-rocked corpse of a hideous sea monster, all beaks, eyes and tentacles. They were further astonished at its size, since it was rather larger than their village. But their surprise was tiny compared to the huge, stricken expression on the face of the dead monster, which appeared to be have been trampled to death. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#death

Hef ég drepið mann eða hef ég ekki drepið mann? Hver hefur drepið mann og hver hefur ekki drepið mann? Hvenær drepur maður mann og hvenær drepur maður ekki mann? Fari í helvíti sem ég drap mann. Og þó. ↗

— Halldór Laxness

#humour #murder #Íslandsklukkan #death

Death by creaming ↗

— Yvonne Leishman

#death

I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#ageing #death #discrimination #humour #life

Whoever had created humanity had left in a major design flaw. It was its tendency to bend at the knees. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#design

Just think, she said to herself. I could be living on the Right Bank. I could be married to a senior clerk at the Treasury. I could be sitting with my feet up, embroidering a linen handkerchief with a rambling-rose design. Instead I'm on the rue des Cordeliers in pursuit of a baguette, with a three-inch blade for comfort. ↗

— Hilary Mantel

#humour #design

Yefgenii said, "The Americans spent millions of dollars designing a pen that would work in space. What did we do?" Gevorkian's head was down, his eyes were down. "What did we do?" Gevorkian lifted his head "We used pencils." "We used pencils. ↗

— Jed Mercurio

#perspective #design