#humour

Do you remember what we just did? Please tell me you remember what we just did." She briefly toyed with the idea of lying and saying no, just to see the look on his face, but she'd had enough of having her brain played with – it wouldn't be too sporting to do the same to him. "Yes, I remember, and don't you think for one minute that just because you had me on my back screaming I was 'yours'," she waved four fingers in quotation marks in front of his face, "that it gives you any kind of ownership over me, because it doesn't." He looked annoyed, then relieved, then he laughed. "Yeah, whatever, baby. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#humour #making-love #memory #ownership #pueblo-and-amy

There's always a 'but' when it comes to jobs. Like, I love my job but my colleagues are first-rate, but...a couple of them like to dress like superheroes on the weekend and I can't help but wonder if they're nuts." - Logan ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#logan #the-lucky-one #love

I need some space." "Because of my past?" "No, because of mine. When I'm around you I feel like I'm falling. I need to stop before I smash into the ground." "Are you always so honest?" "No. Mostly I'm a liar like you. ↗

— Anna McPartlin

#falling-in-love #humour #lies #love

Men are scumbags until they prove they're women. ↗

— Robin Mellom

#humour #love

Nothing great is ever accomplished by following standards. ↗

— Geoffroy Birtz

#humour #science #humor

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up faster. ↗

— Noelle Oxenhandler

#humour #life #melancholy #the-art-of-wishing #truth

There’s always time for arguin’ when you’re a Fuentes. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

One of the lambs fixed its attention on Jared. “Baa,” it flirted. “Boo,” said Jared. “Oh my God, Jared. Don’t tough-talk the lambs.” "It was giving me a funny look. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#funny

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour. ↗

— Adrian Edmondson

#ages #good #humour #i #people

There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag. ↗

— Adrian Edmondson

#beneath #childish #doubting #effectiveness #gag