#humour

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them. ↗

— Johnny Depp

#love #family

When you're drowning you don't think, I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me. You just scream. ↗

— John Lennon

#power-of-words #words

So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.' 'Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humour #nathaniel-gray #will-herondale #wit #eating

Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor. ↗

— James Thurber

#humour #james-thurber #religion #religion

That which has not a real excellency and value in it self, entertains no longer than the giddy Humour which recommended it to us holds. ↗

— Mary Astell

#giddy #holds #humour #longer #real

The lot of the bride to be wed before bed desired until rotten. The lot of the author to be read before bed admired then forgotten. ↗

— Roman Payne

#authors #brides #desire #funny #humor

I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet." At that he smiled. "How would you know what feet taste like?" "I just know. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny

New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period. Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes and in your pants. ↗