#humour

Always blow your own trumpet, blowing someone else’s is unhygienic ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#life #life-lessons #philosophy #wisdom #life

The past is truly an inoperable tumor that spreads to the present. ↗

— Steve Tolz

#life #life

And it's a pity too that I've no right to open your letters. I hope you don't get many, or my conscience will give me no peace. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#life

Darling, whose book is this to be?" "Ostensibly yours, my sweet" "I see -- rather like my life since I met you?" "Yes darling ↗

— John Wyndham

#relationships #life

Political life is best treated with antibiotics. ↗

— Colin Tegerdine

#life

I had done either too much coke or too little, a constant problem in my life. ↗

— James Crumley

#humour #life

She didn't know what a goji berry was, but it sounded like something Amazonian tribesmen might eat when they wanted to talk to their ancestors and embark on an inner voyage into some sort of unicorn-infested netherworld. Whatever worked. ↗

— Lola Salt

#humour #romance #life

Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? ↗

— Hannah Harrington

#hannah-harrington #harper-scott #humour #jake-tolan #sarcasm

Look,’ said Cyrus, raising his knife again and pointing it at her. ‘Give me one reason why we shouldn’t kill your boyfriend over there. Come on. The dark scowling face is reason enough in my book.’ She could have sworn she heard the sound of Lucas’s eyes narrowing to slits. ‘Come on, just one reason,’ Cyrus repeated, ‘and it better not include the words love, eternal or soul. ↗

— Sarah Alderson

#humour #young-adult #love

I love Prada. Not so much the clothes, which are for malnourished thirteen-year-olds, but I covet, with covety covetousness, the shoes and handbags. Like, I LOVE them. If I was given a choice between world peace and a Prada handbag, I'd dither. (I'm not proud of this, I'm only saying.) ↗

— Marian Keyes

#humour #women #love