#humour

I had shaved my beard for her-a huge disappointment, because I’d enjoyed my three weeks looking like a bank robber. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humour #romance #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

I was shy,” said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side. ↗

— Anne Gracie

#historical-romance #humour #romance #funny

What the dev— er, deuce did you do that for? It hurt!” “Good,” said the angel. “I was afraid these new shoes would not be sturdy enough. ↗

— Anne Gracie

#historical-romance #humour #romance #funny

I'll go," he said. "And that's safer because?" "I'm a guy." "Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how? ↗

— Gemma Halliday

#humour #humor

The codfish lays ten thousand eggs. The homely hen lays one. Codfish never cackles to tell you what she has done. And so we scorn the codfish, while the humble hen we prize, which only goes to show you that it pays to advertise! ↗

— Nikhil Sharda

#humour-quote #poetry-quotes #home

Yves. You are goint to love him all over again when you meet him, believe me. You're married.' 'I'm what? But I can't be more than eighteen!' 'My son is very persuasive,' said Saul proudly. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#humour #joss #love #memory #phee

I wasn't saying whatever they're saying I was saying. I'm sorry I said it really. I never meant it to be a lousy anti-religious thing. I apologize if that will make you happy. I still don't know quite what I've done. I've tried to tell you what I did do but if you want me to apologize, if that will make you happy, then OK, I'm sorry. ↗

— John Lennon

#beatles #humor #humour #jesus #religion

That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus-humping butt monkey!! ↗

— Gemma Halliday

#humour #humor

They desecrate Riora’s sacred temple! She will be enraged.” “Oh, gods, look at the marble. We are all beyond doomed.” “Somebody put a plant in front of it! ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humour #humor

You're kidding," Shane said. "Do you think I want to visit Crazy McTeeth in his lair of insanity?" "No," Claire said, "but I'm pretty sure you won't like it if I go alone when I just kind of promised to be with you. So...?" "Right. I've been missing Nutty McFang anyway." "Stop making up names for him." "What about Count Crackula?" "Just stop. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humour #humor