#i

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself-like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. ↗

— Jean Kerr

#conversation #gender #humor #language #men

It's about time! It's supposed to be a ritual, not a marathon. ↗

— Karen Chance

#humor #romance #supernatural #vampire #humor

Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#humor #water #humor

Invisible guns, huh?" Kenji smirks. "That's cute. I don't think I ever went through that phase. ↗

— Tahereh Mafi

#kenji #humor

If you cannot judge a book by its cover, surely we should not judge an author by one book alone? ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#authors #book #book-cover #books #criticism

I want to see the front of you.” “That’s what all the girls say.” “Do you expect me to roll you over? ’Cuz I will.” “Your mate’s not going to like this.” “As if that’s going to bother you?” “True. It actually makes it worth the effort.” With a groan, he shoved his palms into the shimmering silver pool of blood beneath him, and flopped over like the side of beef he was. “Wow,” she breathed. “I know, right? Hung like a horse.” “If you’re really nice—and you live through this—I’ll promise not to tell V.” “About my size.” She laughed a little. “No, that you assumed I’d look at you in any fashion other than professionally. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#flirting #humor #lassiter #physical-perfection #teasing

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. ↗

— John Hughes

#life #humor

In small towns, news travels at the speed of boredom. ↗

— Carlos Ruiz Zafón

#humorous #rural-life #humor

Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #humor

You guys looking for my dad? People are always, like, looking for him, and he's never around. Daddy is so not here. And I mean that literally and spiritually. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #juliet #humor