#in

If you can't enjoy what you have, you can't enjoy more of it. ↗

— Richard Bandler

#inspirational-quotes #humor

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #insult #irs #malediction #humor

How about "diamonds are a girl's best friends"? Nope. It should be switched around and pointed out, instead, that your best friends are diamonds. ↗

— Gina Barreca

#friendship #humor #friendship

If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes. ↗

— Scott Lynch

#wine #humor

Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird. ↗

— Anne Lamott

#inspirational #writing #humor

Keanu Reeves?" she asks in amazement. I nod. "What did he wish for?" "Isn't it obvious?" I say, waving a hand at the screen. "Fame." "That's why he's famous? Because of a wish?" "Have you seen his movies? Surely you didn't think he made it on his acting skills?" I grant wishes; I don't work miracles. Viola looks back at the screen, eyes screwed up in awe. "I guess that makes sense," she says faintly as my former master delivers a line poorly. "Wow. ↗

— Jackson Pearce

#djinn #humor #keanu-reeves #humor

Louis-Cesare slowly pulled himself into a half-standing position against the side of the winery.'What? Did you think one little mage was going to do me in?' He swallowed hard. 'Hell, that was just a warm-up. ↗

— Karen Chance

#damphir #dorina #fiction #humor #mage

I have learned that particularly clever ideas do not always stand up under close scrutiny. ↗

— Elizabeth Peters

#ideas #scrutiny #humor

I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword. ↗

— Derek Landy

#combat #duel #dueling #humor #humorous

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow. ↗

— Mark Twain

#mark-twain #sorrow #humor