#insult

I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#insult #pompey #funny

I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#insult #humor

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#condoms #humorous-comebacks #insult #humor

Peter to Austin: "Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7. ↗

— Dani Alexander

#gay #glbt #humor #insults #mm

8:58 We go to McDonald's. The woman in front of me in line spends more than five seconds contemplating her order. This infuriates me, "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?? MC-SEABASS?? IT'S THE GODDAMN MCDONALDS'S MENU, IT'S BEEN THE SAME FOR TEN YEARS! IT'S ALL MCSHIT!JUST ORDER! ↗

— Tucker Max

#insult #mcdonalds #humor

She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappropriate future moment. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#insult-to-a-werewolf #humor

You mean he came to your school? The scandalous rodent-loaf! ↗

— Laini Taylor

#insults #rodents #humor

And since when is stealing people's possessions the call of God? you are all hypocrites who have suddenly come into power, and you don't know how to handle it ↗

— Dalia Sofer

#funny #insult #septembers-of-shiraz #funny

An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it. ↗

— Winston Churchill

#humor #humour #retort #humor

[Francesca] 'You really are a few biscuits short of breakfast.' His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 'You're a few colors shy of a rainbow?' she offered. 'Not pulling a full wagon? Knitting with only one needle? All foam and no beer? Your cheese slid off the cracker? You couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel?' [Nicodemus] 'All right. I get it. ↗

— Blake Charlton

#insults #metaphor #stupidity #humor