#insults

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#insults #put-downs #humor

Save your skin from the corrosive acids from the mouths of toxic people. Someone who just helped you to speak evil about another person can later help another person to speak evil about you. ↗

— Israelmore Ayivor

#bad #corrosive #destroyers #destruction #detractors

Mr. Blatchford attacks Christianity because he is mad on one Christian virtue: the merely mystical and almost irrational virtue of charity. He has a strange idea that he will make it easier to forgive sins by saying that there are no sins to forgive. Mr. Blatchford is not only an early Christian, he is the only early Christian who really ought to have been eaten by lions. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#forgiveness

We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#humor #insults #sarcasm #friendship

You,” Madeline said, her voice hollow and wheezing, “are a bad case of herpes, wizard. You’re inconvenient, embarrassing, no real threat, and you simply will not go away. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#funny

If her rump were any stiffer, she'd break it every time she rides', I thought to Pounce. 'If she fell on the steps, they would never be able to put her together again', he replied. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#humor #insults #tamora-pierce #humor

Let’s not mince words: the inside of the Sydney casino looks as if Vegas had an illegitimate child with Liberace’s underpants, and that child fell down a staircase and hit its head on the edge of a spade. ↗

— Steve Toltz

#insults #ugly #humor

Sidekick? Fuck you, porky. ↗

— Julie James

#insults #name-calling #humor

You weren't afraid of me when I was Wolf," he said. "Why are you afraid of Nathan?" "He's got big feet!" "What?" An insulted-sounding arrroooo came from the other side of the door, a reminder that Wolves also had big ears. ↗

— Anne Bishop

#insults #wolves #humor

Look, I'm very sorry for any wrong I've committed, intentionally or accidentally, against any member of your pack or kennel or whatnot. I mean that truly and sincerely, from the very core of my being. But I'm tired. Please imagine what it's like to be raised from the dead by a deranged vampire-motorcyle-gang-religious cult, only to be dragged across the country in a van driven by your ex-lover and fledgling who hates you and no longer sympathizes with the human need for waste elimination. I have neither the energy nor the inclination to write a ten page statement officially apologizing for the evils of my past, and if you expect me to, kindly throw yourself beneath the wheels of a moving train. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout (Cyrus to Bella)

#humor #insults #humor