#insults

He crouched at the care window and looked in. "What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one." His finger jabbed the glass. "That one's a bit ugly." The American stepped towards him. "What? What did you say?" "Oh, don't worry. I'm sure his personality makes up for his face. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #humorous #insults #random #what-the-hell

We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#humor #insults #sarcasm #friendship

If her rump were any stiffer, she'd break it every time she rides', I thought to Pounce. 'If she fell on the steps, they would never be able to put her together again', he replied. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#humor #insults #tamora-pierce #humor

Let’s not mince words: the inside of the Sydney casino looks as if Vegas had an illegitimate child with Liberace’s underpants, and that child fell down a staircase and hit its head on the edge of a spade. ↗

— Steve Toltz

#insults #ugly #humor

Sidekick? Fuck you, porky. ↗

— Julie James

#insults #name-calling #humor

Each of us carries within himself a collection of instant insults. ↗

— Haim Ginott

#collection #each #himself #instant #insults

Alexis grabbed his arm. "Tom Jones? Wow, I totally love Tom Jones. He's like quintessential Vegas—over the top and indecent fun. Let me just go grab a pair of underwear to throw at him and we'll be all set." Over his undead body. If anyone was getting her underwear tossed in his face, it was going to be him. "I don't think so, Ball Buster. You're not giving your panties to an old man." "Oh, and you're so young, Garlic?" "Garlic?" What the hell was that? "Yep. Now we have pet names for each other, isn't that adorable? You're Garlic and I'm Ball Buster. Now everyone will believe we're a real couple. ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#humor #insults #nicknames #pet-names #tom-jones

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#insults #people

If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#put-downs #stupidity #brain

Daily life is governed by an economic system in which the production and consumption of insults tends to balance out. ↗

— Raoul Vaneigem

#consumption #daily #daily life #economic #economic system