#insults

Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#art

Done to death by slanderous tongue ↗

— William Shakespeare

#eulogy #insults-and-slander #death

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#insults #put-downs #humor

Mr. Blatchford attacks Christianity because he is mad on one Christian virtue: the merely mystical and almost irrational virtue of charity. He has a strange idea that he will make it easier to forgive sins by saying that there are no sins to forgive. Mr. Blatchford is not only an early Christian, he is the only early Christian who really ought to have been eaten by lions. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#forgiveness

You,” Madeline said, her voice hollow and wheezing, “are a bad case of herpes, wizard. You’re inconvenient, embarrassing, no real threat, and you simply will not go away. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#funny

If her rump were any stiffer, she'd break it every time she rides', I thought to Pounce. 'If she fell on the steps, they would never be able to put her together again', he replied. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#humor #insults #tamora-pierce #humor

Let’s not mince words: the inside of the Sydney casino looks as if Vegas had an illegitimate child with Liberace’s underpants, and that child fell down a staircase and hit its head on the edge of a spade. ↗

— Steve Toltz

#insults #ugly #humor

Sidekick? Fuck you, porky. ↗

— Julie James

#insults #name-calling #humor

Each of us carries within himself a collection of instant insults. ↗

— Haim Ginott

#collection #each #himself #instant #insults

Alexis grabbed his arm. "Tom Jones? Wow, I totally love Tom Jones. He's like quintessential Vegas—over the top and indecent fun. Let me just go grab a pair of underwear to throw at him and we'll be all set." Over his undead body. If anyone was getting her underwear tossed in his face, it was going to be him. "I don't think so, Ball Buster. You're not giving your panties to an old man." "Oh, and you're so young, Garlic?" "Garlic?" What the hell was that? "Yep. Now we have pet names for each other, isn't that adorable? You're Garlic and I'm Ball Buster. Now everyone will believe we're a real couple. ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#humor #insults #nicknames #pet-names #tom-jones