#ions

If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to seduce me, I'd have 50 cents. That's assuming drag queens are half price. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cents #discount #dollar #drag-queen #drag-queens

My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #dog #dogs #funny #girlfriend

I couldn't have been happier with the relationship we had with Disney, it couldn't have been easier. ↗

— Joel Coen

#disney #easier #had #happier #i

If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now." But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#ask #fact #factor #fall-in-love #funny

We should have high expectations of our children, but politicians should not tell teachers how to meet them. ↗

— Charles Kennedy

#expectations #high #high expectations #how #meet

A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks the kinds of questions he is able to answer. ↗

— Ronald Colman

#answer #asks #falls #kinds #love

Those that are the loudest in their threats are the weakest in their actions. ↗

— Charles Caleb Colton

#loudest #their #those #threats #weakest

We live in an instant-coffee world. Sometimes real-world solutions take a little longer. ↗

— Mike Conaway

#live #longer #real-world #solutions #sometimes

The methods that EPA introduced after 1970 to reduce air-pollutant emissions worked for a while, but over time have become progressively less effective. ↗

— Barry Commoner

#become #effective #emissions #epa #introduced

Our entire team is focused on managing this company for value - fixing or eliminating those operations that lessen value and expanding or adding those that enhance value. ↗

— Phil Condit

#company #eliminating #enhance #entire #expanding