#ions

I’m only saying what you won’t. He’s a hunk, admit it. A tall, dark, exotic hunk who wants to bed you, and you must be a fucking nun, because it’s been three weeks since you met him and you’re going to have to remove the cobwebs from your vagina with forceps soon, they’re growing into intelligent life form— ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#cobwebs #dating #humor #humour #relationships

My advice to women who habitually gravitate toward musicians is that they learn how to play an instrument and start making music themselves. Not only will they see that it's not that hard, but sometimes I think women just want to be the very thing they think they want to sleep with. Because if you're bright enough--no offense, Tawny Kitaen--sleeping with a musician probably won't be enough for you to feel good about yourself. Even if he writes you a song for your birthday. Don't you know that a musician who writes a song for you is like a baker you're dating making you a cake? Aim higher. ↗

— Julie Klausner

#relationships #dating

I know my vision is impaired and cannot be trusted with even the simplest tasks, much less dating. Not that I´ve come within talon distance of a man. ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#cheating #deception #divorce #infidelity #marriage

Then let me be your mercy,” he said. “I’ll never be able to give you smart answers about why we suffer, but I can come into your world and try to be some kind of help to you. ↗

— Laura Anderson Kurk

#faith #glass-girl #god #laura-anderson-kurk #love

I had a dream about you last night.. You kept screaming at Ted Danson to pour you a drink. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

But my best friend from college was silent for a long time. She, of all of my friends, had seen the parade of sad wrecks through my life, date after bad date after bad boyfriend. She was the one who'd picked up the pieces after the musician, the investment banker, the humanitarian who was human to everyone but me. When at last she spoke, she said, Oh, hell. And, after that: Hallelujah. ↗

— Lauren Groff

#dating

You live on - in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here...Death ends life, not a relationship. ↗

— Mitch Albom

#life #love #relationships #death

A common vision can unite people of very different temperaments. ↗

— Timothy Keller

#friendship #temperaments #unity #vision #relationship

I am a siren, and for my adoration of mankind, have been caught in fishing nets one time too many. And in those fishing nets I have learned too many unfavorable things about human intentions and the lack of trust and goodwill; I'm not going to allow myself to be caught, anymore. Sirens do well at singing the sirens' song and dragging vile people to their deaths, and for good reason! ↗

— C. JoyBell C.

#humanity #mankind #mermaids #sirens #sirens-song

The Motto of Champions: If you are hurt, you can suck it up and press on. If injured, you can rebound and return bigger and better...and continue to inspire! ↗

— T.F. Hodge

#champions #hurt #injured #injury #inspirational