#jo

Lily, the girl who’d talked back to the jock, said, “I want to get as far away from my parents as possible. We’re like potassium and water.” The other kids laughed and I said, “Huh?” “If potassium comes into contact with water, it instantly combusts,” Lily said slowly so if she was talking to a child. ↗

— Marta Acosta

#nerd-joke #science #funny

John Foster Dulles had called on me in his capacity as Secretary of State, and he had exhausted every argument to persuade me to place Cambodia under the protection of the South East Asia Treaty Organization. ↗

— Norodom Sihanouk

#asia #called #cambodia #capacity #east

My all-time low is 62 at Bel-Air, but it was in match play, and I had two putts given to me from four feet. I'm playing only about once or twice a month. Full-time job. Full-time father. Full-time blonde. ↗

— Jack Wagner

#all-time #blonde #father #feet #four

With this sweet hope of ultimate acceptance with God, I have always enjoyed much cheerfulness before men; but I have at the same time laboured incessantly to cultivate the deepest humiliation before God. ↗

— Charles Simeon

#always #before #cheerfulness #cultivate #deepest

I would be lying if I said the journalism doesn't reflect my own choices as a reporter and a writer: what to say, what to emphasize, how to say it, what is true or untrue. ↗

— David Simon

#emphasize #how #i #journalism #lying

Productivity and the growth of productivity must be the first economic consideration at all times, not the last. That is the source of technological innovation, jobs, and wealth. ↗

— William E. Simon

#consideration #economic #first #growth #innovation

Any journalist worth his or her salt wouldn't trust me. ↗

— Joey Skaggs

#her #his #journalist #me #salt

Thank you for giving me the energy for my morning jog. I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about my low ceiling, or my ceiling fan, or the blender on the counter. ↗

— Bauvard

#energy-drinks #exercise #funny #humor #jogging

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way. ↗

— Allan Sloan

#grew #i #i write #jokes #puns

In my job, whenever I delivered a presentation I would rehearse several times before the actual event. In sport, it is important to be equally prepared about my opponents. ↗

— Keeth Smart

#actual #before #delivered #equally #event