#jo

Caroline was always moody and miserable, but I liked it. I liked feeling as if she had chosen me as the only person in the world not to hate, and so we spent all this time together just ragging on everyone, you know? ↗

— John Green

#hate #john-green #the-fault-in-our-stars #the-fault-in-our-stars

I catch you without your ahstrux nohtrum again, I'm turning you in." Qhuinn cursed. "Yeah, and then I'll get fired. Which means V'll Donald trump my ass with a dagger. You're welcome. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#john-matthew #lover-mine #qhuinn #zsadist #black-dagger-brotherhood

In a quiet voice, he said, "How long's this been going on for you? With her." John took out a small pad he'd brought with him and wrote: Since the moment I first met her. After Rehv read the scribble, he frowned. "She feel the same way?" John did not drop his eyes as he shook his head. No sense hiding shit. Not with a symphath. Rehv nodded once. "That's so like her. Goddamn it...okay, let's do this. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#jr-ward #lover-mine #rehv #rehvenge #black-dagger-brotherhood

When he turned back around, his characteristic smart-ass smile was back in place. "Your wish is my command, prince of mine." Don't call me that. "How about good ol'-fashioned 'master'?" When John just glared over his shoulder, Quinn shrugged. "Fine. I'll go with fathead then. But that's your damage, I gave you options." [John & Qhuinn] ↗

— J.R. Ward

#lover-enshrined #qhuinn #fashion

Jocko likes salty, Jocko likes sweet, but never bring Jocko any hot sauce, like with jalapenos, because it makes Jocko squirt funny-smelling stuff out his ears. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#jocko #salty #sweet #funny

C: What do you get when a giant sneezes? Out of the way. - Marigold ↗

— Jean Ferris

#giants #joke #funny

You can't just call the Praetor. It's not like 1-800-WEREWOLF. ↗

— - Jordan Kyle Cassandra Clare

#humour #jordan-kyle #the-mortal-instruments #the-mortal-instruments-series #funny

And he paddled away in his douche canoe. ↗

— Joe Hill

#joe-hill #nos #funny

Satisfactory job performance goes against a noble work ethic. Poor job performance goes against a generous welfare ethic. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #job #welfare #work-ethic #funny

He stepped to the window and pointed to the skyscrapers of the city. He said that we had to extinguish the lights of the world, and when we would see the lights of New York go out, we would know that our job was done. ↗

— Ayn Rand

#new-york-city #new-york-city