#jokes

I suppose the common idea of me is that I'm going to be someone who's hyper and cracking jokes all the time, but people who meet me are soon disabused of that notion. ↗

— Alexei Sayle

#cracking #going #hyper #i #idea

I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I'm an idiot because I don't shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that I'm in there sometimes twice a day. ↗

— Seann William Scott

#always #bachelor #because #check #clerks

All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us. ↗

— Yahoo Serious

#comedy #films #hold #i #jokes

If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now, we would probably forget you were there, we'd just be cracking jokes. It's like Beavis and Butthead. ↗

— Nikki Sixx

#cracking #forget #jokes #just #just be

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#cent #deserve #funny #funny stuff #jokes

For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies. ↗

— Laurence Sterne

#every #hundred #jokes #ten #you

From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked. ↗

— Tom Stoppard

#back #comic #enjoyed #far #how

My driver Kellie Frost and I would race these fellows home and they were always faster on the highway. We did the same with Daniel and his driver, and thus began a long series of jokes and competitions to alleviate the impossible hours and tensions this film provoked. ↗

— Madeleine Stowe

#always #began #competitions #daniel #did

I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this. ↗

— Julia Sweeney

#jokes #me #minutes #realize #really

It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes. ↗

— Wanda Sykes

#behind #confident #first #forward #i