#lawyer

It was really weird, when this thing started, to hear lawyers and MTV people calling me and actually saying 'ButtHead.' People tried to avoid it too. ↗

— Mike Judge

#avoid #calling #hear #lawyers #me

I gather from a lawyer that there was a rehearsal yesterday. We haven't a hope. I know the presiding judge too: I've had the misfortune to sleep with his wife. He was specially picked. ↗

— Alphonse Karr

#had #haven #his #hope #i

Mister Rob Anybody and sundry others?" said one of the figures in a dreadful voice. "There's naebody here o' that name!" shouted Rob Anybody. "We dinna know anythin'!" "We have here a list of criminal and civil charges totaling nineteen thousand, seven hundred and sixty-three separate offenses-" "We wasna there!" yelled Rob Anybody desperately. "Isn't that right, lads?" "-including more than two thousand cases of Making an Affray, Causing a Public Nuisance, Being Found Drunk, Being Found Very Drunk, Using Offensive Language (taking into account ninety-seven cases of Using Language That Was Probably Offensive If Anyone Else Could Understand It), Committing a Breach of the Peace, Malicious Lingering-" "It's mistaken identity!" shouted Rob Anybody. "It's no' oour fault! We wuz only standing there an' someone else did it and ran awa'!" "-Grand Theft, Petty Theft, Burglary, Housebreaking, Loitering with Intent to Commit a Felony-" "We wuz misunderstood when we was wee bairns!" yelled Rob Anybody. "Ye're only picking on us 'cause we're blue! We always get blamed for everythin'! The polis hate us! We wasna even in the country! ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#lawyers #humor

The Nixon years were trying. They honed my judgment for everything I did later on. The experience also illustrated for me the importance of training young lawyers properly. ↗

— Fred F. Fielding

#did #everything #experience #honed #i

There aren't more lady songwriters for the same reason that there aren't more lady doctors or lady accountants or lady lawyers; not enough women have the time for careers. ↗

— Dorothy Fields

#careers #doctors #enough #lady #lawyers

Now record companies are run by lawyers and accountants. The shift from the one to the other was definitely related to when the takes started to get big. ↗

— David Crosby

#big #companies #definitely #get #lawyers

If you can manipulate news, a judge can manipulate the law. A smart lawyer can keep a killer out of jail, a smart accountant can keep a thief from paying taxes, a smart reporter could ruin your reputation- unfairly. ↗

— Mario Cuomo

#could #jail #judge #keep #killer

I am a trial lawyer. Matilda says that at dinner on a good day I sound like an affidavit. ↗

— Mario Cuomo

#am #day #dinner #good #good day

I worked as a lawyer; as a member of the teaching staff of a technical college; and then I worked principally as legal adviser to Adolf Hitler and the National Socialist German Workers Party. ↗

— Hans Frank

#adviser #college #german #hitler #i

That the decision is taken away from the voters, and as in 2000 turned over to the lawyers and the courts. ↗

— John Fund

#courts #decision #lawyers #over #taken