#ld

If I have another child, I doubt I'll get married again. I don't think men particularly want to be with me. ↗

— Anna Nicole Smith

#another #child #doubt #get #get married

Every generation of children has its private hero. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#every #generation #hero #private

Global warming, the ongoing destruction of the planet, Third World debt, the uselessness of the railways, the takeover by the corporations, the scary George Bush person: all these things are important and should be animating me into outrage. Yet somehow they do not. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#bush #corporations #debt #destruction #george

If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of the 1950s. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#gentleman #however #length #life #live

It was Julie Burchill who decreed that, beyond a certain age, a man should not be seen in a leather jacket. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#beyond #certain #certain age #decreed #jacket

My eyebrows could do with a trim. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#eyebrows #trim

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#cent #deserve #funny #funny stuff #jokes

Only the pun remains. The pun, beloved of Shakespeare, children and tabloid headline-writers, is normally eschewed in the modern, sophisticated circles in which I move. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#children #circles #i #modern #move

When they meet a stand-up comic, people sometimes remark: 'That must be the hardest job in the world.' Among comedians, only Freddie Starr is not embarrassed and slightly appalled by this remark. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#appalled #comedians #comic #embarrassed #freddie

I ain't good-lookin', but I'm somebody's angel child. ↗

— Bessie Smith

#child #i #somebody